THE WEDDING CEREMONY
From Real Simple Weddings magazine, May 2008 Issue . . .
Some common ceremony questions
Where does music fit into the ceremony?
At a few key places: the Prelude — Music signals to guests that it’s time to assemble; the Processional — When the bridal party walks down the aisle, play a steady, simple beat, like a march or a canon; the Recessional — You’re married! That jubilant feeling should translate to the music playing as guests leave. Elsewhere: add music as you see fit — during a reading or a ritual. Go to www.ourweddingsongs.com and www.weddingvendors.com for inspiration.
Do I have to create a wedding program?
No, you may skip this step. If you do decide on one, ask your officiant for an outline of the ceremony. Include the date, the time, the venue of the wedding, and your full names, as well as those of the attendants and the officiant. Go to www.weddingclipart.com for ideas.
What’s the order for the processional?
It’s up to you. But traditionally, the order is . . . Grandparents, mother of groom, mother of bride, groomsmen (if not already up front with groom), bridesmaids (solo or with groomsmen), maid of honor,ring bearer, flower girl, you and your escort (your father, both parents, a close relative or friend).
What’s the best way to handle family when it comes to cultural and religious differences?
As soon as you and your fiancé agree on concepts for the ceremony, tell both sets of parents about the plans. Listen to your family members’ concerns, explain your choices, and even compromise. If you’re having an interfaith union, bring in elements from both beliefs.
What are some ways to recognize loved ones in the ceremony?
To honor the deceased: Light a candle; display a photo of the person on a table beside the altar; place a rose on an unoccupied seat in the front row; ask the officiant to request a moment of silence. To honor the absent living: Acknowledge them in the program or in toasts at the reception. To honor the people present: Consider handing out token gifts after the nuptials.
How long should the ceremony last?
25 to 35 minutes is feasible ballpark figure.
What should you address at the rehearsal?
Go over these logistics with the wedding party: the order of the processional and the recessional, and who stands where; cues and triggers from the officiant and who’ll be in charge of the rings; the duties of the flower girl and the ring bearer. The job of running the rehearsal usually lies with the wedding planner or the officiant, but you can designate a family member or friend.
YOUR VOWS
From Real Simple Weddings magazine, May 2008 Issue . . .Your Words
TRADITIONAL
Who should choose them: Couples who aren’t sure what they want and those who suffer from stage fright, since the officiant does most of the talking at the wedding ceremony. Couples who wish to keep their intimate feelings private should pick the traditional wedding-vows option as well.
What to know: A requirement of ceremonies in the United States involves a “declaration of consent”, in which the couple must indicate they enter into marriage of their own free will.
SELF-WRITTEN
Who should choose them: Brides and grooms who wish to be unique. Chances are, you’ll have to do research and seek inspiration. Consider, too, that the more you personalize your pledge, the more you’ll probably talk, which calls for a certain comfort level with public speaking. Whatever you choose to say, write it down on a piece of paper and have your maid of honor carry it to the altar.
What to know: To get the creative juices flowing: exchange love letters with your fiancé, review old journals, look at souvenirs from your best dates, revisit places that mean a lot to you both, flip through photo albums, and recount anecdotes from your relationship. |
